F’Real

Friday May 6th:  Load up and Hop out!

Weez, Bill, Eric, and I got in the car around 1800, stopped at Smokin Joes. Weez said, “Eric hit on the girl in there for me”  back on the road and get stuck behind a moving house on Rt. 14, Finally get to 15 and had to stop and get gas outside of Williamsport. Well Eric’s car is all effed up! It takes about 15 minutes to pump gas, the pump keeps shutting off?!?!? So we all go in and get drinks and the boys “make a sissy” and the car is still getting gas, Bill and Eric takes turns pumping. Back on the road for a bit and hit a storm, Eric’s windshield wipers are now effed up. Then we hit construction, this is turning out to the be the longest road trip to Amanda’s ever! I found 2 bouncy balls in the car and think it’s an awesome idea to bounce them off of the dash while Eric is driving.  Bill’s boss called and he was talking gibberish, “Hey Kevin, just try the 3PCPO and R2D2…….

 On the way Amanda text to tell me that David told Brenda that her and Ryan were nudist and would be going to the NudeL festival this July. So Amanda would be answering the door butt naked and go in for a hug. Kind of glad our trip was taking so long cause Brenda did beat us there by about 30 minutes. And yes Amanda did answer naked and gave a naked hug, Poor Brenda! We got there around 2230. Grabbed a few beers and Eric and Amanda got to work on the dry wall, for about 20 minutes, Yup that is all that was done all weekend! Weez and I looked up the horses for the derby and Bill took a 5 minute cat nap.  Eric made me change and we loaded up and hopped out to the Tempo lounge. $2 beers and fake ponies. Last call 0130. Back to Amanda’s, talked to David and he still had about 2 hours till he arrived. Everyone was hungry but only goat cheese and organic ice cubes available.  Amanda and I adorned some flippin sweet glasses and headed to the bathroom   We went to the Diner for food. Weez and I on our way for food. Ryan ordered Belgium waffels with blueberries and ice cream, not sure why but the boys found this hilarious! We decided we would all go to bed and be up and everyone ready by 1100.    Back to Amanda’s around 0400 and we all went to bed. David showed up around 0430, he left his car running FOREVER! I got up and let him in.

Saturday May 7th:  I woke up to Weez talking rather loudly and carrying around Precious a.k.a lean cuisine  We were all actually ready to leave by 1100, this is a FIRST, especially with David. We load up again and were going to go to Nacho , for hubcap margaritas. The traffic is congested and we decided we would not have enough time and headed to Fell’s Point (Ryan’s favorite parking) We parked and walked to the game, which could be seen as a far walk by some 🙂 On the way some guy called me Danica Patrick , so I felt sweet with my entourage!

  We get to the game and find tickets $19, Eutaw Street entrance. Got to love the Orioles for cheap tickets. Eric buys a Tshit and we are Baltimore fans for the day, I got my boy Markakis jeresy on. We find some seats in our section and the games starts, we are on time!!!  Ethel went to her first major league game   The sun was out, “what a great day for a baseball game!” The seats began to get crowed around the 3rd inning and we shuffeled a bit. David bought peanuts, they were $4, the guy threw him the peanuts and David crumpled up a $10 and tried to throw it to the guy, didn’t work so well.  I like David’s salty nuts! Weez went to go get some beers, David said will you get me one? Then tried to give Weez $6, ha ha not enough to get a beer.  Started to rain a little bit, seats clearing out. Sun back out in 10 minutes. I made a letterbox to plant at Camden Yards, gave it to Eric and he failed to plant. Weez and I went to the bathroom, we both have bladders the size of a gummy bear, and got a drink and planted the letterbox Seal 6 style, for clues: http://www.atlasquest.com/boxes/clue/?gBoxId=170870

  Check out this sweet tattoo  of the guy in front of us. http://tampabay.rays.mlb.com/video/play.jsp?tcid=mm_tb_vid&c_id=tb bottom of the 8th, Tampa bay’s Sam Fuld makes a sweet catch stopping Baltimore from getting a home run.  9th inning was all about the wave, Bill’s gay ass attempt to do the wave, and out fielder Matt Joyce. “Hey Joyce, get your head in the game!’ He either flipped Weez off or shot the peace sign?

 Everyone met back up (Bill and Ryan were loners and hung out alone most of the game)   Game recap http://scores.espn.go.com/mlb/recap?gameId=310507101 Ray’s 8 Orioles 2.  

 Ethel with her Favorite Oriole! Across the street to Pickles Pub  Some of tried an Oriole dog  Pb&j with cream cheese on a hotdog, interesting!  Weez was so confused, NY or Baltimore? We hear a helicopter and Weez tells some people next to us how we have to bolt soon our ride was waiting for our next mission since we did so well with our last, GERONIMO!  part of Seal team 6. At this time we remembered that we forgot to find an OTB for the Kentucky Derby. I decided I would be bookie, with my little black book. We all picked a number or horse name and put in $5 per bet. Finished our drinks and had an hour to walk closer to the car and find a TV to watch the Kentucky Derby.

Weez 1- Archarcharch  a.k.a archerarcher & 17 Soldat

Jennifer 4- Stay Thirsty

David 6- Comma to the Top

Eric 7- Pants on Fire

Brenda 9- Derby Kitten

Amanda 11- Master of Hounds

Bill 15- Midnight Interlude

Ryan 16- Animal Kingdom

On the way we found 2 letterboxes in Inner Harbor. Bill and Ryan got hungry and went on without us to Chipotle. We had 10 minutes till the Derby. We found Dick’s last resort and there was room at the bar 🙂 ordered some drinks and got ready to cheer on our horses. We decided to cheer like we had a million dollars riding on our bets. The derby began and so did our screaming. Everyone was looking over. “Come on number 6!” “I am going to punch that horse in it’s face” “Stay thirsty my friends” “come on, faster” “I shoulda soldat horse”   Yup Bill and Ryan still missing and Ryan’s horse won, BASTARD! David was jealous that everyone in the restaurant had a hat so Amanda found him one on the floor and it was perfect!  we kept walking to find food in Fell’s Point and we, well David, found some nuns  still walking  David loves this expensive place. Eric and Weez were way ahead and we happen to run into them coming out of Haagen Daas, they used the bathroom and didn’t buy anything and actually got away with it! We get to Fell’s point and order 2 large pizzas and sit in the square on the ground killing the pizza. Weez tried crushed peppers for the first time, I think he’s hooked! We are all getting tired at this point but I point out Maggie Moo’s. The line is so ling so we move along, yup $5 parking, worth the walk. In the parking garage, I got Ryan to roll down his window ans bouncy balls back into play. We follow Ryan to Cold Stone Creamery, or Brewery which ever you prefer. Some got some ice cream. http://www.coldstonecreamery.com/icecream/ice_cream.html

Then back to Amanda’s. We sit around for a bit chillin, Bill and Weez still drinking. David got a phone call and I double dared Weez to yell something into the phone while he was talking to someone and I would drink a beer with him. David came out front and Weez went up and said  “David wanna go to Dave & Buster’s?” “‘ BBBBRREEEENNNNDDDDAAAAA!!!!!!!!!” David took off out back and I drank a beer. Sitting around chillin in the living room, Weez gets up and does the future ball crawl. He said his balls were hanging to his knees. We told him if he did it again Amanda and I would drink another beer with him. Nope wouldn’t do it. Well we notice at this point that Ryan was burnt, and had 2 small spots on top of his knees. Ryan said to Weez, “It’s from sucking your dad’s dick” WHAT?!?!! He was cutting on himself. We decided to go back out, but around the neighborhood. First stop South Marlyn Inn, for Latin American night. The boys get patted down as we walk in, the beer was warm , the place was super loud and smelled like pine sol. Ethel was SACRED! It could have possibly been a Mexican prostitution ring also? We quickly drank most of our warm beer and moved on. There was a car pulling around the building in creep speed, yikes! Now to the Blue Marlyn with a crazy DJ, music was fun and there was a pregnant midget with a midget daddy, SWEET! We stayed for 2 rounds, buckets of beer 6 for $10.      Yup time for our flippin sweet glasses again     

Next to K.C’s Pub:  25 cent pretzel pieces, we snuck in a $2 beer. You Spin me right round right round…..

There was a lady at the bar sitting spread eagle backwards on a bar stool, one of those things you don’t wanna see but can’t stop looking at. The boys were betting on the fake ponies again. Last call and back to the cars, David mooned us! Our car went to the store. Bill and Weez were confused about no door handles and the window service. Bill ordered “I want cheese doodles, I will take both” Weez ordered 3 boxes of bagel bites. At the house they cooked pizza and bagel bites. We talked Weez into doing the ball crawl for David and Brenda, they missed it the first time. Then someone got the brilliant idea to do ball crawl races. 

Team 1: Ryan, David, Bill, and Weez

Team 2: Amanda, Brenda, Jennifer, and Eric

Eric and Weez did a rematch, with David as a referee but Bill intercepted and the race track was flawed and Weez ripped his pants and he has to be put down for the night.  We all went to bed after laughing along time about the Kentucky Derby Ball Crawl of 2011.  

Practice run for Ryan, Bill and Weez : http://youtu.be/7H6Jsiv-XiA

The race: http://youtu.be/DpmTzbAuNbU

The Eric and Weez redo: http://youtu.be/JJPZE3j-oVQ

Sunday May 8th: Up around 11ish, everyone was tired. Amanda and Bill were having an indepth conversation about draped and curtains. I found Weez sleeping with his hands down his pants. I found a phone plugged in the kitchen resting on a cutting board with a note that said do not chop, next to the cord. Yup Weez’s phone. Everyone got around and we went to Towson for lunch. On the way we decided we were going ostrich hunting cause it looked like one shit one everyones cars. Did I mention that I envy David’s car? Well I do and his standard driving abilities are AMZAING! He might even have something on Danica Patrick.

Burger Bros= greasy cheeseburgers and fresh cut fries,Yum! Sat outside and ate. Then on to REI to shop for backpacks. We were there about an hour and Amanda bought gloves and shorts, that’s all that was bought. Bill found a bag but found out about a sale in 2 weeks so put it back. I couldnt find a fatgirl pack I likes. Eric was annoyed with price of the packs. The salesman was all about packs and discussed lots of options and many were expensive. Eric said to Bill let’s find a midget and put him in the pack so you can see how it feels with weight, little did he know that the salesman was about 4 ft nothing. Opps!  David and Brenda took off while we were trying on packs, they did not even say Goodbye.

We left for home. We were talking about Mother’s day and Bill said he text his mom. On the radio, Siruis- Octane, Kayla said “18% of people will text their mom’s on  Mother’s Day rather than call or send a card.”

We stopped at Sheetza for Pizzea that youcant beatza. Weez was trying to mess with me, I had to pee! I came out of the bathroom and Weez was just staring at a milkshake machine. He wanted one but had no idea how to work it, I read him the directions, the Milkshake was called F’Real. Eric got an creamsicle icee and all of a sudden it started to explode out of the top and all over the floor, then he hit the Dr. Pepper button on the soda machine and had a block of ice and Dr. Pepper. He ended up throwing it away.  Finally home around 2030.

Random thoughts:

Elephant cough

Tucked in shirts

87 x radio station

how do you spell penguin

HORSE

 My war wounds for the ball crawl

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