Contemplating about writing this post because I just don’t know what I want to say. I feel like I have been going though the motions of life the past week and a half. My heart is heavy and my emotions have been up and down. I know I have periods of negativity in my life but on a whole I would say I try and be optimistic and make the most out of any situation. To be completely honest I have never been a believer in god or a higher power. It just is hard to believe that someone or something could allow for such horrible things to happen in this world. I have always been a believer that things do happen for a reason. (I know this sounds confusing and I don’t ever think I will completely understand myself so don’t bother to analyze or judge me.) People need to experience the good and the bad in life, it is what it is.
As many of you know my four month old nephew was found unresponsive and spent 6 days in Rochester. As of now we do not know what happened and we may never know. What I do know is that my family is amazing! Through all of this heartache and stress we managed to come together and do what we needed to do. Our goal was to be there for Joe, Anjie, Abbigail, and Dylan in any way that we could. No one knows what to do in this situation but we did our best. Took turns staying at the hospital, playing with Abbigail, underwear shopping at Target (back and forth in the store), driving Strong Memorial Hospital, praying all each in our own ways, holding Dylan, and sitting in silence. Whatever was needed everyone made it happen. So I am trying to figure out why did our family have to go through this horrible event? All I can come up with is that my family could handle it. We are still trying to find our way and I am sure many days will struggle to get out of bed but we will because we have to!
I also can not believe how supportive and concerned people have been. Many people in this world just succ, but I guess that are a lot more people that really do care. My family had countless phone calls, text messages, emails, facebook messages, and cards sent by family, friends, and even strangers. We received flowers, gift cards, donations, and people even plowed our driveways while we were out of town. The line at the viewing kept going, people waiting 45 minutes outside to offer condolences.
I am going to continue to believe that things happen for a reason because that’s what gets me through difficult days. I am going to enjoy the life I have with my family and friends and not take a moment for granted.